I try to make my posts as positive as possible but I can't this time. I have had a rough week and I am very sad. I cannot divulge much but it has been hard. Part of me feels numb inside and I am not sure what to do about that. I guess time heals all scars but this will take a while. I think when someone hears the same thing over and over again from one person it begins to affect them no matter how hard they try to keep it from doing so. It becomes this mosquito hanging on the arm as a constant reminder that someone in the world thinks that. It can cut deep.
What happens when you run out of emotion? Have you ever had someone in your life that, after a certain time you don't know how to feel or what to feel. You search inside yourself and can only find this empty hole where the emotion is supposed to go? Like as if someone dug it and it is waiting to be filled. What if you cannot find the material to fill it? Does it become this empty spot in your soul? I am not sure what happens next. What happens when no matter what anyone says, you still cannot feel? Can someone use up all of their energy on something so much and to such intensity that after a while they are just indifferent? Does that make them a monster or a human?
I see these things happen all around me and it makes me wonder. How much can a person take? I know the say "God only gives us what He thinks we can handle." Sometimes I think He has too much faith in me. Other questions pop up in my head. Can someone use up all of their love on someone and still have love for others? Does one bad relationship or situation serve as a chain on their heart which takes much force to break? I hope not.
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