So long

So long it has been since I have written. I went from a happy and exciting time in my life to a sad and trying time now. In the span of the 6 months almost things have changed. It is hard to form everything into words because there is so much and my thoughts and feelings are mixed on all of them.

My grandfather has passed. He left us on November 1st. It has almost been a month and it seems like yesterday. I always dread the call that I would received. Whenever the phone would ring and the caregivers name would come up on caller ID, my heart would stop. This time no relief was possible as the news I fear had finally happened. I was knowing that it would come and I feel I was more prepared for it then when my grandmother died. With that said, I guess you can only be prepared so much. The first thing I thought of was that I hadn't seen him in 3 weeks. I had planned on seeing him the previous weekend but I got sick and I didn't want to get close to anyone at the group home. I felt like I had abandoned him.

I will have to cut this short. It is late and I need to go to bed. I am tired and a bit sad with thinking about this so rest is in order I presume. I will try harder to get on here and write more to all of my fans (har har har).