Yesterday Josh and I went to the Bridal show at the Firstenburg. It was nice to go to but didn't help much. It was amazing how expensive everything was. I was glad I had already had some good ideas about how I would get things done. Man the cakes were expensive, caterers expensive, locations, etc. You name it those things were expensive. I didn't really get any hints as to anything else that might help me.
So got music figured out, getting great decorations at Michaels and Dollar Store and invitations through email. We are working on location which we will look at Tuesday. Started a guest list but not totally sure if we are finished with that.
Gosh I pray I can stay on track this week.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Rough week
I started off this week feeling pretty darn good. I had gotten a dress, was on my way to figuring out wedding plans. I was also on track with working out and eating better. I guess that kind of went out of the window as the week progressed. It is hard to go into specifics because well this is life and when you blog everything is public. I would be stupid to think that somehow anything I say would be safe from future exploitation. I hate to seem paranoid but better safe than sorry.
At the end of the week I have to tell you I threw all caution out of the window and ate a bit too much. I felt so bad that I had strayed. On top of that I couldn't muster up the energy to work out. I know that is a very lame excuse but it is what I have. I was so mentally and emotionally not to mention physically exhausted I just couldn't do it. When something happens twice in one week, people say I had a right to get all upset. However when I look back at the situation it only makes me worry. Yeah maybe it was expected, but I see it as a personal weakness that I got so upset. I let my guard down at work and that doesn't make me feel any better.
So anyway, needless to say it wasn't a good week. It was a pretty crappy week and one that I don't want repeated. Hopefully the next week will be better.
At the end of the week I have to tell you I threw all caution out of the window and ate a bit too much. I felt so bad that I had strayed. On top of that I couldn't muster up the energy to work out. I know that is a very lame excuse but it is what I have. I was so mentally and emotionally not to mention physically exhausted I just couldn't do it. When something happens twice in one week, people say I had a right to get all upset. However when I look back at the situation it only makes me worry. Yeah maybe it was expected, but I see it as a personal weakness that I got so upset. I let my guard down at work and that doesn't make me feel any better.
So anyway, needless to say it wasn't a good week. It was a pretty crappy week and one that I don't want repeated. Hopefully the next week will be better.
Monday, January 24, 2011
2nd day of wedding excitement
Ok so I looked at my dress again last night and fell in love again. I then looked at it AGAIN tonight. I have a feeling this will be an every night thing. I just can't believe I have it. I mean a dress just for me that is not cheap. It makes me feel special.
Today I looked at hairstyles> i am going for an updo with a tiara. I am not a big veil person. For shoes, simple flat shoes or maybe ballet like shoes like slippers. There is no way I can do heels! Also I looked at a few places to have it. I need a place inside that is very inexpensive.
Very excited and many things to do.
Today I looked at hairstyles> i am going for an updo with a tiara. I am not a big veil person. For shoes, simple flat shoes or maybe ballet like shoes like slippers. There is no way I can do heels! Also I looked at a few places to have it. I need a place inside that is very inexpensive.
Very excited and many things to do.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Said Yes to the Dress
Well today was the first start to getting married. I have been engaged for 6 years and we just decided it was time. If we don't we will come up with excuses after excuses and we will never get married. So many reasons brought this to a head. My grandpa is 94 years old and helped raise me. I want o make sure he is able to see me walk down and aisle. Secondly I have had a lower self-esteem in the past and haven't taken good care of myself. I want to change that and not look back.
So here we are. Today I went out with my 3 girlfriends from work. Unfortunately my maid of honor isn't here but in Minnesota but I am communicating with her via text and everything. We went dress shopping. I have to admit at first I was not excited. I was not looking forward to it because I hate look at myself and I hate dresses. It just seemed not that exciting. Plus I always wanted to be thin for my wedding and I am obviously not. But if I wait too long who knows what will happen.
The girls were so excited. We went out to brunch and it was fabulous. The food was amazing which is ironic because here I am looking for dresses and eating a buffet brunch. But I was ok with that. We ate and then made our way to the shop. I wasn't hopeful to find much because first of all dresses are so expensive. I figured we would go to David's Bridal and find something and then look for something somewhere that is the same or close to it.
I like to plan and so before I went I went online at David's Bridal and took out some pictures that I liked of dresses from the website. I walked in with papers in hand and the girls just went for it. They ran over to my size section and started pulling out dresses. It was amazing because they were looking for me and would show me things. I was shocked because I didn't have to do a lot of work on my own. We kept finding dresses. We found I think most of the dresses I had seen on the website and even more. They kept jumping up and down waiting for a room to open up for me. It was so sweet. Yet I wasn't yet excited. I saw all of these beautiful women in thin pretty gowns. I was expecting much.
Once we got back there the game was on. I got a nice strapless bra that goes partially down to the waist and a slip. After that, it was go for the dresses. We would try one on and then I would come out and get pictures taken. The most amazing part was hearing the oooo's and the awwww's. People were saying I was beautiful. Me? I even had one woman come up to me and tell me how beautiful I looked. I couldn't believe it. A woman I didn't even know telling me how pretty I looked. After that my spirits went up.
I am not big or good at making decisions. I often cave in and go with majority. However, the ladies were awesome at making sure it was all MY decision. I tried on 8 dresses I think. I was shocked at how one look at the mirror and it was "Nope, not this one." Dress number 2,3,4 and 8 were my favorite. Oh man it was tiring but still fun because people were pampering me and smiling and exited. This made me so happy and feeling special. So after I tried on all of them I looked at the four pictures I had of the dresses. I nixed dresses 2 and 3. They were beautiful but just didn't look as good as dress 4 and 8. Each time I sent a picture to Melissa to update her on what was going on. She was so supportive. So it was down to two dresses. Lisa, Michelle and Teri liked dress number 4 and Melissa liked dress 8. As I looked at the dress and myself I just felt that number 4 was what I wanted. I felt beautiful and loved the way it felt and looked. So boom there we have it.
Now let's talk price. Oh the topic I hate. So this was the LAST day of the Bridal gown special. The two dresses were around the same price and about I think $450 and I got it a lot cheaper than that and it was beautiful. I mean it was awesome and totally in my budget. I was elated and so were the ladies. I thought how lucky I was. Here I thought I would just look and I find a dress the first time looking, in one afternoon and on sale. Lucky me!
As we left I felt so pretty and special. But yet it still hasn't hit me. I mean I keep thinking about it and I felt wonderful but not there yet. As it comes closer I know it will change. In the mean time i need to maintain my workouts and watching what I eat. The ladies have lots of ideas and I am hopeful but still a lot to do... :-)
Sorry guys although I want post a picture I can't, it is a surprise.
So here we are. Today I went out with my 3 girlfriends from work. Unfortunately my maid of honor isn't here but in Minnesota but I am communicating with her via text and everything. We went dress shopping. I have to admit at first I was not excited. I was not looking forward to it because I hate look at myself and I hate dresses. It just seemed not that exciting. Plus I always wanted to be thin for my wedding and I am obviously not. But if I wait too long who knows what will happen.
The girls were so excited. We went out to brunch and it was fabulous. The food was amazing which is ironic because here I am looking for dresses and eating a buffet brunch. But I was ok with that. We ate and then made our way to the shop. I wasn't hopeful to find much because first of all dresses are so expensive. I figured we would go to David's Bridal and find something and then look for something somewhere that is the same or close to it.
I like to plan and so before I went I went online at David's Bridal and took out some pictures that I liked of dresses from the website. I walked in with papers in hand and the girls just went for it. They ran over to my size section and started pulling out dresses. It was amazing because they were looking for me and would show me things. I was shocked because I didn't have to do a lot of work on my own. We kept finding dresses. We found I think most of the dresses I had seen on the website and even more. They kept jumping up and down waiting for a room to open up for me. It was so sweet. Yet I wasn't yet excited. I saw all of these beautiful women in thin pretty gowns. I was expecting much.
Once we got back there the game was on. I got a nice strapless bra that goes partially down to the waist and a slip. After that, it was go for the dresses. We would try one on and then I would come out and get pictures taken. The most amazing part was hearing the oooo's and the awwww's. People were saying I was beautiful. Me? I even had one woman come up to me and tell me how beautiful I looked. I couldn't believe it. A woman I didn't even know telling me how pretty I looked. After that my spirits went up.
I am not big or good at making decisions. I often cave in and go with majority. However, the ladies were awesome at making sure it was all MY decision. I tried on 8 dresses I think. I was shocked at how one look at the mirror and it was "Nope, not this one." Dress number 2,3,4 and 8 were my favorite. Oh man it was tiring but still fun because people were pampering me and smiling and exited. This made me so happy and feeling special. So after I tried on all of them I looked at the four pictures I had of the dresses. I nixed dresses 2 and 3. They were beautiful but just didn't look as good as dress 4 and 8. Each time I sent a picture to Melissa to update her on what was going on. She was so supportive. So it was down to two dresses. Lisa, Michelle and Teri liked dress number 4 and Melissa liked dress 8. As I looked at the dress and myself I just felt that number 4 was what I wanted. I felt beautiful and loved the way it felt and looked. So boom there we have it.
Now let's talk price. Oh the topic I hate. So this was the LAST day of the Bridal gown special. The two dresses were around the same price and about I think $450 and I got it a lot cheaper than that and it was beautiful. I mean it was awesome and totally in my budget. I was elated and so were the ladies. I thought how lucky I was. Here I thought I would just look and I find a dress the first time looking, in one afternoon and on sale. Lucky me!
As we left I felt so pretty and special. But yet it still hasn't hit me. I mean I keep thinking about it and I felt wonderful but not there yet. As it comes closer I know it will change. In the mean time i need to maintain my workouts and watching what I eat. The ladies have lots of ideas and I am hopeful but still a lot to do... :-)
Sorry guys although I want post a picture I can't, it is a surprise.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Beginning Steps to a Wedding
Well all, tomorrow I make my first initial attempt at starting to get a wedding going. I am going with m friends to look at dresses. I am very excited well kind of. I kind of don't want to see myself in white as I haven't lost much weight but.. it can be exciting too. I hope that I can find something I like and that fits in my budget. I have 3 of my friends coming and then my maid of honor standing by the phone to view the pictures too. My best friend Melissa lives in Minnesota and so she isn't nearby and I really value her opinion. I am nervous. It will be weird to be doing this and not showing Josh what I like. So we will see how it goes.
Right now we are thinking around April to June but haven't pinpointed a location yet. It kind of depends on what we can afford which isn't a lot right now. Next weekend we are going to a bridal show and will see what they have to offer. We just can't go crazy. I already know the color which actually is just one color. Are you supposed to have 2? I just want lavender as it is so beautiful and purple is my favorite anyway. Flowers are going to be bought at Micheal's I think and then getting plates and stuff from Party City. Then I have my Ipod to blast music and have fun with.
This is just bits here and bits there so it will come together. i also think I will send out invitations through the Internet like evite or something.... So much to do but kind of fun.
Right now we are thinking around April to June but haven't pinpointed a location yet. It kind of depends on what we can afford which isn't a lot right now. Next weekend we are going to a bridal show and will see what they have to offer. We just can't go crazy. I already know the color which actually is just one color. Are you supposed to have 2? I just want lavender as it is so beautiful and purple is my favorite anyway. Flowers are going to be bought at Micheal's I think and then getting plates and stuff from Party City. Then I have my Ipod to blast music and have fun with.
This is just bits here and bits there so it will come together. i also think I will send out invitations through the Internet like evite or something.... So much to do but kind of fun.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
what about the sick
So this weekend I was sick, yes that is the second time I have been sick in a period of a month. I started to feel sick on Friday and right after work I went right to bed. I literally was in bed the whole time unless I was up to have something to eat which was not very often. As i was in bed I had an interesting thought, well as interesting as you can have when you are sick and on cold pills. I wondered what do you do when you are sick and cannot workout and keep up your routine?
I guess this question wouldn't haunt me so much if it weren't for that damn Wii. I love the Wii! It is a great way to keep up with your workouts, monitor your weight and keep yourself motivated. I wonder about the motivation part though. I guess you can be motivate if you feel the unrelenting urge to prove to the little damn Wii board that you are not "obese" as he says in his tiny voice. This board person is a wii board with each corner of it serving as either an arm or a leg to make it appear more human. Could it also be motivating when you don't show up on the Wii for three days and it says that it forgot who you are? And aren't I the schmuck who goes back to my profile to make sure I clicked on the right Mii. Haha very funny wi board! You got me, even electronics can make funnies.
So anyway I am trying to use the Wii more and more to help keep myself honest and on track. I just wish that the wii board would be a bit kinder to me. Maybe instead of saying "that's obese" and my mii hanging her head in shame.... maybe we could say "that's really big boned" and having my mii put her hand on her hip with attitude? At least then we could keep some dignity. But don't get me wrong. I do enjoy using the machine and find it fantastic. I just like to think about the little things. This is what gets me into trouble....
So tonight I bought Just Dance 2 and tried it out. I am excited because this seems like a lot of fun. I can dance and then count my time in my Wii fit program. Maybe later I will buy a workout one and a Zumba one. Go Wii board and your little "that's obese" phrase too!!!!
I guess this question wouldn't haunt me so much if it weren't for that damn Wii. I love the Wii! It is a great way to keep up with your workouts, monitor your weight and keep yourself motivated. I wonder about the motivation part though. I guess you can be motivate if you feel the unrelenting urge to prove to the little damn Wii board that you are not "obese" as he says in his tiny voice. This board person is a wii board with each corner of it serving as either an arm or a leg to make it appear more human. Could it also be motivating when you don't show up on the Wii for three days and it says that it forgot who you are? And aren't I the schmuck who goes back to my profile to make sure I clicked on the right Mii. Haha very funny wi board! You got me, even electronics can make funnies.
So anyway I am trying to use the Wii more and more to help keep myself honest and on track. I just wish that the wii board would be a bit kinder to me. Maybe instead of saying "that's obese" and my mii hanging her head in shame.... maybe we could say "that's really big boned" and having my mii put her hand on her hip with attitude? At least then we could keep some dignity. But don't get me wrong. I do enjoy using the machine and find it fantastic. I just like to think about the little things. This is what gets me into trouble....
So tonight I bought Just Dance 2 and tried it out. I am excited because this seems like a lot of fun. I can dance and then count my time in my Wii fit program. Maybe later I will buy a workout one and a Zumba one. Go Wii board and your little "that's obese" phrase too!!!!
Nice visit with Grandpa
I was able to see Grandpa this afternoon. When I got there he was sleeping real sound. I thought for a moment about not waking him up. I hadn't seen him the last weekend because of being sick so I needed to say hi. I walked in quietly and had a seat and gently touched his hand. His eyes opened and a smile started to form at the corner of his mouth. It was a joy to see.
I asked him how he was doing.... "Sleeping." was his response with a big laugh. I was very appreciative of his smile and good humor. I showed him a pair of shoes that I bought him over the weekend. When I took them out to put them on he just laughed at me. "I guess I have bigger feet then you thought." he said. "No," I say "I am just not a good judge of shoe size." We both had a chuckle.
He then began telling me about his working out routine. It was great watching him show me how he moves the equipment and what not. I told him I was proud of him and that he needed to keep it up. So after some more chatting and good laughs I promised him I would go back to the drawing board and try to get him some bigger sized shoes.
As I drove away I was comforted to know that he still has the strength and push in him to keep working. There were some days I wasn't sure how far we were going to go. I know he had had another stroke as it had shown in his slowing of his speech. I also knew he was really frustrated with everything and tired as well. However this visit gave me more hope that his attitude has taken a turn for the better. I just like to see him happy, whatever that means for him is what I wish for him. As long as he is happy then I am all right with that.
I asked him how he was doing.... "Sleeping." was his response with a big laugh. I was very appreciative of his smile and good humor. I showed him a pair of shoes that I bought him over the weekend. When I took them out to put them on he just laughed at me. "I guess I have bigger feet then you thought." he said. "No," I say "I am just not a good judge of shoe size." We both had a chuckle.
He then began telling me about his working out routine. It was great watching him show me how he moves the equipment and what not. I told him I was proud of him and that he needed to keep it up. So after some more chatting and good laughs I promised him I would go back to the drawing board and try to get him some bigger sized shoes.
As I drove away I was comforted to know that he still has the strength and push in him to keep working. There were some days I wasn't sure how far we were going to go. I know he had had another stroke as it had shown in his slowing of his speech. I also knew he was really frustrated with everything and tired as well. However this visit gave me more hope that his attitude has taken a turn for the better. I just like to see him happy, whatever that means for him is what I wish for him. As long as he is happy then I am all right with that.
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